“Tell me your version of love, and I will tell you your future”

Love is wonderful. It is the first mystery behind the genesis of mankind. It is the crucible that we draw untold virtues from and the song that never fails to bring a genuine smile to the face of every creature on earth. Most times, love is often defined on the basis of emotions and feelings, but it is more than that. Yea! Feeling is part of love, but the true definition of love is more than that. Feelings is not the true definition of love for there is a width, length, depth and height of Love.

Love is only universal, unconditional and selfless, transcending time itself, regardless of the circumstance when passion, commitment, pleasure and sacrifice are involved. Mistakes in relationships and marriages often shatter into pieces, because it was cradled on feelings and mutual affection, rather on solid principles and foundations.

Love goes beyond seeking the best for others, it is beyond the capacity for a man to render aid to another man. It is a truth that must be firmly planted in our hearts and minds based on understanding, rather on feelings that are hard to control and put under heel.

I have often wondered when I see people saying expressions like: I love this shirt, I love this shoe, but in some few months’ time, it is no more on their love list or expressions like: I love her, I love him, but after several sexual activities, their expression changes. So, I asked myself, what is love?
We often think of love in the romantic sense, what if there is a whole form of love greater that the expression romance has placed on it. We know love is at the highest level of everything, so that means it must encompass a lot of things that raises it higher than fame, wealth, money, relevance, ambitions and all other things man ever dream of.

Passion is the first dimension of love. It shows the intensity of your enthusiasm and eagerness for someone or something. It reveals your vulnerability towards someone (God or man) or something (Business or object). It is an aspect of love that is commonly practiced, but that’s not all there is to love. For example, an artist should be passionate about drawing and painting.

Commitment is the second dimension to love. It shows the dedication and willingness of a person to selflessly share and create time, energy and resources for someone or something that you are passionate about. It shows the staying power of a person to pledge his resources for someone or something, regardless of the return or benefits. The committed individual might be obligated to a restraint of action and speech. For instance, a student who is committed to education will dedicate time, energy and resources to reading, research and buying of materials.

Happiness is the third dimension of love. It is deepest form of love. It shows the pleasure and satisfaction derived from being passionate and committed to a person or a thing. If you don’t derive gratification and joy for someone or something you are committed to, then it is not love. For instance, if I don’t find joy writing, with all my passion and commitment to it, then I cannot say I love writing.
Sacrifice is the fourth and final dimension of love. It is the highest and noblest form of love. It entails giving up something you consider precious and valuable in your sight for someone or a better path in life. It talks about the constraint, inconvenience and sometimes pain and anguish someone has to go through for someone or a better path in life. Are you willing to lay down anything for what you desire?

So, now that we know what love really entails, we are now insightful enough with the word Love. If your definition of love does not cover this four dimension, then it is not love.

Let’s now define Love:

Love is a choice we make to obey to the law of the God.

Love has to do with relationships and it is not mandatory. It is understanding the value and significance of the role of a person or a thing to God, to your life and to society.

Love should create feelings, because it is the drive that will make you committed to a person or thing, but love cannot be sustained on feelings. It should never be founded on the foundation of emotion, feelings and pressure. Many individuals venture into a relationship because of pressure; pressure to be wealthy, pressure to get married, pressure to manage lust or sex drive and so on.

Love is being mindful. The person you love is not perfect, so you deliberately limit yourself to make the person more valuable. When you love someone, you are filled with the desire to protect and take care of them.

When you love someone and the person loves you back, then there must be detailed clarity of roles, motives and expectations. Love is a risk, if you are not a risk taker, run far away from love, because it is not meant for you.

When you love someone, you learn to honor. Honor is a very important in a relationship because challenges are inevitable. To sustain love, an individual must be sensitive to honor and practice honor in all things, for love is the discernment of the usefulness of an individual. Honor must also be mutual. There must be two-sided communication of love.

And finally, the love of God exists to save us from the eternal torment of the Lake of Fire.

In God’s Love,
Okunola Peace.